Saturday, 21 December 2019

The Role of Relationships

"Relationships are key"
this is something i have heard a lot over the last 2 months - and of course over my teaching career.
But it is only now that the true complexity of relationships is coming to light, as I juggle not only child relationships, whanau relationships, collegue relationships...but also sibling relationships, business relationships and employer/employee relationships. This is a whole new world of complexities.

I have always prided my self on being able to build child relationships. Taking time to talk to children, to find out about their interests, their home life, pets, families. To take time one on one to chat and be together. This has always been pretty easy - it just takes time.  So far in my new role this is coming along nicely. It has been interesting to experience the younger children exhibit their relationship with you in slightly different ways than older kids do (they are much more overt in calling you their favourite teacher - at least for this year while you are the centre of their world anyway). With the younger children in ECE I am noticing that the relationship is cementing when they come to you for comfort, when they trust you to help with care routines and when they simply get closer.... I am noticing the child who was once stand offish and coy, now stepping closer, leaning in, or sitting nearby and making physical contact. The bond is beginning.

With whanau in primary school there are formal occasions in which to meet and spend time one on one with parents and caregivers. I had easy forms of communication such as email and notices that went home in school bags. This is not as easy in ECE. The parents come and go - often in a flurry  - children want their attention, and procedures such as signing in and out, or incident registers, reminders for nappies etc can get in the way of genuine time to chat. Making time to just be with the parents is important. Our first attempts at this in ECE were varied. Our meet and greet had a fairly small response, but started some new relationships. I was a little awkward, it was not our setting, not a familiar place and not familiar people. But the follow up, kids party, had a great turnout, in our centre, beginning to feel ownership, taking some control over arrangements, feeling empowered. chatting to parents on this happy day flowed. We need more occasions like this, fun, family, familiar. The bond is beginning.

With colleagues in primary school there was the ease of banter in the classroom before school, in the smoko room and everyone together at lunch. We taught in single celled classrooms, and should have felt isolated, but it wasn't. We had 1.5 - 4hours a day where we were onsite but not in front of our class. Plenty of time to build bonds, friendships and professional relationships. In ECE, while you work as a team, I feel quite isolated from the other adults. Everyone is so busy in their roles, in their spaces, making sure everything is tidy, the kids supervised, the nappies changed, the photo books and learning stories completed. So far it seems more lonely than the classroom ever was. How does one build relationships with colleagues they don't have any quality time with?

I will leave it there today, with still the new roles of sibling relationships, business relationships and employer/employee relationships to ponder. These ones are new, and I have little to compare them too. They will develop as my skills develop in these new areas.

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